A girl can dream...Let's face it God knows what he is doing, so whatever happens, happens. I just really need to sit back and let God show me what's up. I am being way to forceful with what I think should be His will for my life, instead I need to just let Him show me in His time.
Patience has never been one of my strong suits, but I hoping that the lemons life has been handing me lately will help me attain some, somehow. God is the most important part of my life and I loose sight of that sometimes.
Not anymore.
I vow to remember who I belong to. I vow to talk with God daily. I vow to read the precious words He has written for me. I vow to love Him unconditionally and without pause. And I vow to share Him with the world every single opportunity that I am given.
When I mess up..I am gonna fess up. When I fess up..I am gonna shape up. From here on out I'll be a better me. Someone He can be proud of; someone I can be proud of. God deserves that from me; well actually He deserves so much more.
I wish I was more than just a mere human. I wish I was someone He could count on, like He is for me. He has given me so much, and I have given back so little. I am a awful sinner who deserves death, and yet daily He gives to me.. LIFE. He protects me and loves me no matter what. I only wish I acted the same towards Him. Sometimes there are days I go without saying a single word to Him. Not one peep. Sometimes I don't even pick up my Bible, for weeks at a time. And worst of all there are days when I keep Him all to myself and let opportunities of sharing Him with others fall by the wayside. Those are the days when I let my stupid humanity win. I put myself first and Him last; that is something I will always hate about myself. It is so easy to do what I want. When in all actuality what He wants for me is what I should want for myself, because it is what I need. Needing and wanting are two very different things. I need Him all day, everyday.
He is there. Waiting. Just waiting. Waiting for me to seek His face. Waiting for me to come to Him empty handed and wanting to be filled. I am gonna shape up. I am gonna seek Him daily. I am gonna loose myself in Him and resurface a new Tara. Consumed by His love and Spirit. I will be different, I will be better. I cannot go on just being a spiritual zombie. I need to be on fire. I need a zest for life. A zest that can only come from God. So that I can start truly living, and make each moment of my infinitesimal life count. I love you.
Nightie night (maybe, my mind is going a million miles a minute right now :P).
Peace. Out.
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